You need to have a sense of humor when dealing with computer illiterate people to help blow off some steam, so you don’t hurt them or wish them harm.

The following example dream script is presented for your pleasure to help alleviate frustration on your part as an IT person when attempting to provide phone password reset support when encountering one of these challenged individuals.

Caller: My system password is not taking and needs to be reset, unless you can just set it back to what it was. My ID is XXXXXXXXXXX.

IT: Ok it’s 123456

Caller: Is that all in caps?

IT: <Silence> (What caps are in numbers?) No it’s just the number 1 through 6.

Caller: <entering> (onetwothreefourfivesix) Can’t get it to fit, it’s not taking because it says too many characters.

IT: <Long Silence> (I can’t believe this person is this dumb)

Caller: Helloooooo????, It’s still not TAKING!

IT: (Lets have some fun with this) Do you want it to be taking?

Caller: Anyway you can get it to work would be good.

IT: Ok it’s taking

Caller: Excellent, let me try it now.

IT: Ok, let me know if it doesn’t work.

Caller: Look, I tried and it’s still not working.

IT: Of course not, its still taking, but if you want it to be working, I will change it now.

Caller: Ah, sorry, I didn’t know that it still took time to reset. When will it be done?

IT: It should be working now.

Caller: Nope, still no good.

IT: Oh, ok your password is revoked.

Caller: Duh, yes it is.

IT: I understand that, but if its revoked already, and you can’t change it, I’ll have to see what I can do to fix it since we can’t use the same password twice unless its autogenerated.

Hmmm…your password is now expired

Caller: Revoked…It should be revoked. How can it be expired, when I was just using it? It should be revoked, not expired.

IT: It just was, so I have to make it something new. Give me a few more seconds while I check the password database for your account.

Caller: Expired? I don’t get it. There is no way that it should be expired.

I will read you the error message that I am getting on my screen.

It says that the password I have entered is invalid.

IT: If you say so. (Changes it)

It is showing as invalid on my screen now too. I just tried to clear it, give it a try and see if the change went through.

Caller: Useless system, it’s still, not working…Are you going to change my invalid password?

IT: I can if you tell me what you want me to change it to since you didn’t like my suggestions.

Caller: Listen, you didn’t give me any! Are you going to help me so it can be changed?

IT: Alright, alright, it’s changed.

Caller: And what is it supposed to be changed too?

IT: I told you it’s changed but If that’s too hard for you, I’ll make it simple.

Caller: Simple is good. Did you change it already?

IT: Yes, the system is showing it just went through.

Caller: Crap…<sigh> It’s still not working. There may be a problem with the system resetting it.

No, it’s was working, but it’s not working anymore. <Typing sound> There you go, l made it simple.

Caller: Really simple huh? <Faster speech> Well it isn’t that simple because it’s still not working, and I seem to be wasting my time.

IT: Listen, I’m in this with you and really want to help.

I already agreed with you that it’s not working but should be simple.

If you are still having problems with it we can try something different but please be patient with me.

Caller: Excuse me, if I sounded angry but I am getting frustrated. Please just try and change it so it works.

I don’t care what it is…Just make it easier so I can get in!

IT: I just made it enabled. Try it again.

Caller: <Typing sound> Arrrgggghhhhh….No good.

IT: It should be enabled now.

Caller: <Banging on the desk with fist> Try to listen to what I am saying and change it so it works--ALREADY!

IT: I had it working, and simple but if that isn’t good enough I will have to change it again. Ok, it’s already!

Caller: <Almost sobbing> I just need my password reset and you are not helping me because it has not changed. I have been on this call for several minutes already and need to get back to work!

IT: You didn’t like that it was changed and already, so I’ll have to make it easier.

Caller: Oh my Goodness! Let me speak with your manager because you are not helping me.

IT: I will get my manager for you, but I don’t know why you couldn’t be satisfied with your password being easier if it was, already and changed. All you have to do is enter it.

Caller: Never have I had such a problem getting a password reset. WHAT IS IT THEN? I still can’t get in.

IT: I told you it was already and it’s now easier.

Caller: Save me further aggravation, please for Pete’s sake, IT’S—NOT-WORKING!

Please just give me another?

IT: I understand it’s not working and hasn’t been for the past few resets but for you, so I will have to give you, another… All set.

Caller: NOW WHAT IS IT SET TO?…WELL? ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME ANOTHER?!?!?!?

IT: I just did.

Caller: Loser. You are such an idiot!!! <Click>

IT: <Chuckle>

**************

Caller: <Calls back hoping to get someone else> Now before you begin, please just listen to me because I can’t take much more…I called and the previous person I spoke with was unable to help me and was quite rude. I just need my password reset to the initial login. My ID is XXXXXXXXXXX.

IT: Your new password is approved.

Caller: Oh, it had to be approved.

He didn’t tell me that.

Approved for what??

<Exhausted> Listen I don’t care anymore…I just need another password, will you give me another?

<Pleading>Just 1 password reset.

IT: According to the system, you just called and have another in prior uses.

Caller: 1 PASSWORD IS ALL I NEED! A-simple-password-reset. I don’t care what you give me, but I need to get into the system--NOW! I don’t care what it is, so please just GIVE ME 1 NOW!

IT: Well it is already approved and ready for use but if you don’t like the one I gave you, I will let the system auto-generate another one. Your new password is 123456.

<Both IT guys sitting next to one another hi-five on a job well done>

Created by Mike Andreula